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Posts Tagged ‘funny’

Time Out

January 11th, 2010 No comments

One time I went to do a service for interior earwigs.  As I was on my way, I called the customer (wife) to let them know I was on my way.  She said, “Yes, please come over we need a spray badly!” So, when I got there, the husband came to the door and said, “What are you doing here, I already canceled the account!”  So I said “I just spoke to your wife and she said to come over and do the service.”  So he said, with a grumpy old face, “Come on in then!”  So as I went in, and the wife began showing me where the earwigs were, and the husband kept running around following us and saying, “You know, I can take care of this myself!”,…. “And I can do a better job!” So as he kept complaining, the wife said, “Honey, What did I tell you!!” as she grabbed him by the ear and dragged him to his room.

What I heard from the other room was, “I will pay for the service.” She came out and apologized and thanked us for the service.  I thought to myself, HMMM, She just put her husband in time out for trying to refuse Bulwark’s services!

Tevita Fine
Las Vegas, NV

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Roving packs of dogs

January 6th, 2010 No comments

It was a typical hot, humid Texas Summer day.  I had completed most of my schedule and I was getting into the stretch where every customer is home and needs just a little special attention to feel comfortable that their bugs will be gone.  I pulled up to the next house on my schedule at the end of a cul-de-sac.  I rang the doorbell.  No answer.  I knocked.  No answer.  I then went to the gate on the side of the home; I knocked loudly on the gate and began whistling hoping to attract the attention of any dog that may be in the back yard.  I have not proven this, but I theorize that a dogs lack of colored sight cause them to view Pest Control Technicians as chew toys that must be gnawed on.  No dogs came barking at the fence, or wagging a tale.  I now felt safe to service the home.

I power sprayed the front exterior of the home and entered the back yard.  As I came near the rear corner of the home I heard music from a radio.  I came around the corner and found our customers kneeling on their back deck.  I quickly put on a huge smile, raised my arm and announced myself to my customers, saying “Hi I’m the Bugguy”.  In the next moment I understood why the customers where kneeling down.  I was confronted with one of the most terrifying situations I have ever been in.  No less than 6 small black puppies sprinted off the deck of the home and charged in my direction at what seemed to be 200miles per hour.  I HAD LEFT THE GATE OPEN and the puppies where headed for it and me.  I dropped my equipment and ran towards the gate hoping to close it before the puppies could escape.  I was successful and hours of dog catching had been prevented.

As I came back around the corner of the home with the puppies nipping at every inch of me from the knees down, the customer’s were doubled over in laughter at the sight of a grown man fleeing for his life from a group of puppies with the largest weighing at about 6lbs.  I didn’t try to explain.  I only joined in the laughter and completed the service.

Wayne Bryant

Las Vegas

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Las Cucarachas

January 4th, 2010 No comments

My name is Luke and this story is about my first day on the job 2 years ago. I was an eager young lad ready for some hard work and had just been hired by the Atlanta Branch as a field technician. Like most employees on their first day out in the field, I was both nervous and excited. One of my advisors, Ben Montez, had just taught me how to drive a stick shift and I was ready to conquer the world. Picking up my paper work, I read through for the challenges of the next day so I could make sure I had everything I needed. A couple exterior sprays, a couple of ant mounds, and a German Cockroach account in Cumming. Sounds easy.

The next day went pretty smoothly – I was a new face for the company so there plenty of people to meet. The day went by very fast – it was relatively hot outside and was around 4 p.m. before I arrived at my last home, just on time. I walked up to the door and knocked when a young woman and her husband answered the door. “Hi! I’m here to help with the cockroach problem!” They smiled politely and welcomed me into their home. I took off my shoes and they proceeded to take me into the kitchen. A warm and curious smell entered my nostrils.  Mmm, I thought to myself…chicken.

They offered me a glass of juice and began to tell me a little bit about their problem. “I see a lot of roaches around the sink area, and if I wake up in the middle of the night to grab something, they are like everywhere, you know?” I nodded to myself. That would make sense, the kitchen is an area with heavy moisture and most roaches are nocturnal. According to my manual, roaches need moisture to survive and it’s likely they have infiltrated the cabinets. I pulled up my sleeves and prepared for an inspection. Armed with a flashlight and special bait formula, I decided to check under the sink first. Between the brillo pads and Windex bottle, I saw the yellow orange glow of what appeared to be some sort of shell. Being new to the job, this was a discovery the likes of which only Sherlock could have appreciated … my first egg capsule! I was getting closer to the source …

After I was done reviewing the immediate area around the sink, I had to stand up and stretch. I reached for my glass of juice and took a sip. What is that wonderful smell? As I set my glass down I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Standing between the sugar and some coffee filters was a tiny little cockroach staring back at me – I felt my heart skip a beat. If I can follow this thing, I’ll know exactly where they are coming from. As I moved in closer, the little guy scuttled behind a blender at the edge of the counter top. Happy to follow, I slowly picked up the blender and was surprised to find five more underneath. I was about to explode with excitement when all of them took off the counter and onto the wall behind the fridge. “Aha!” I thought to myself. I recruited the woman’s husband to help me pull out the fridge and grabbed my flashlight. What I was about to see has haunted me in my dreams ever since.

I couldn’t understand what was happening at first, but I’ll try my best to explain it. I poked my head behind the fridge and pointed the flashlight down. A large black vibrating mass began to scatter as about a hundred or so cockroches looked back up at me. In absolute shock and horror, I took a step back to catch up with my mind. That was when the walls started to move. I thought I was hallucinating at first and wondered if the family had put something in my juice. The lights began to flicker and to make matters worse, the woman began shouting nervously in her native language which really freaked me out. I took a couple steps back and heard a thick series of ‘crunches’ beneath the weight of my foot. I looked down to find previous white socks now covered with roaches. The woman continued to yell and started scooping up her crying children from the kitchen table as I looked around nervously for something to grab. I found a broom and began sweeping furiously against the flow of roaches as they made their way across the kitchen floor. Eventually the strength and size of the mass dwindled, as they began to scuttle back to various hiding places throughout the kitchen and cabinetry. The family had began to calm down and the blood was slowly returning to my face when I decided to step out and call some of the other technicians for advice.

Long story short, I scheduled a free follow-up visit after treating the residence and the family’s problem was solved. I however, have a harder time sleeping at night and can no longer stomach the smell of the chicken.

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Dog run

January 3rd, 2010 2 comments

One day I was servicing a home while training a guy that had been sitting in the truck while I did all the spraying and all the services. He always was having an excuse to be on the phone. I was really getting frustrated cause I believe that he was just being lazy. I knocked on the customer’s door and there wasn’t an answer. I checked the gate, it wasn’t locked, so I went back to the truck and asked if the trainee wanted to spray the house. He was still on the phone so I just started to spray the house. When I got to the backyard I made it to the far side when this big dog came from under the dog house, filthy dirty, and growling viciously. The dog came towards me, and I felt like I had to run. I jumped the neighbor’s wall and came to the front yard. I saw that my trainee was off the phone and I just quickly asked him to finish up the back while I made a phone call to the office. He went towards the back yard where I was sure that he was going to have to jump the wall like myself. To my surprise he finished the service and rolled up the hose while I faked being on the phone with the office. I guess if I would have not run the dog would not have chased me. But at the least it got this tech to start to spray houses and learned the lesson that not all dogs of this sort are really vicious.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Richard Wickoff

Mgr. Las Vegas

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Pool dreams

January 2nd, 2010 No comments

One day, I went and serviced this home and when I got to the back yard, I was all into spraying the house and making sure I hit every spot.  I thought to myself as I was admiring my work, “This customer’s going to love me!”  Since I was facing the house and walking backwards while still spraying, I didn’t realize that they had a pool and then CRASH!! The lights were out and before I knew it I woke up at the bottom of an empty pool.  And as I woke up I saw a “BIG CHIHUAHUA” licking my face as to say “What the heck are you doing in MY POOL!!!”   I quickly jumped up in total embarrassment and looked around as I slowly climbed out of the pool, hoping the customer didn’t see me.  Boy, I felt like an idiot.  Luckily the customer didn’t see me and I escaped with just a couple bruises on both my elbows and a sore back.  When I got back to my truck I realized that I had been there for 40 minutes, I must have had a nice long nap!!! That’s what I call a knock-out service!!

Tevita Fine

Las Vegas, NV

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Drawing the line

December 31st, 2009 No comments

My name is Jay Tankersley and I am a Service Manager for Bulwark Exterminating located in the Raleigh, N.C. branch. I was filling in for one of our field technicians when the following incident took place.

I greeted Mr. Smith at his front door, a Bulwark customer for a little less than a year. As I started to do his treatment he began to follow me around in silence as I sprayed his home with our standard pressure spraying procedure. I assumed he was checking to make sure I did a thorough service. I completed the entryway treatment and de-webbing without a word from the customer. Upon completion of the service I filled out the customer service invoice and asked if there was anything else I could do for him today? He said “yes” and asked me to follow him back around the perimeter I had just sprayed. He said, “Every time your company comes to do my service, after words, I walk around my house and there is this very distinct visible line in the grass completely around my house where you have just treated”.”  He then asked me what was in our product to cause such an effect on his grass. Sure enough there was a straight line indented about 1/2 inch to 1 inch wide and running the length of the home, around the backside and down the other side. As we were walking along the far side I stopped about half way and looked up at the roof line. I then smiled at the customer and said once you install some rain gutters the indented grass line should disappear.

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Protected: Invasion of the mice

December 29th, 2009 Enter your password to view comments.

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Protected: Always listen to your trainer

December 28th, 2009 Enter your password to view comments.

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I have good news and bad news…

December 27th, 2009 No comments

I was in San Antonio Texas to do my Thursday termite route. I went to a customer’s house at 10 am to do his free termite inspection. I rang his doorbell and proceeded to ID myself as Randy with Bulwark Exterminating and that I was there to do his free termite inspection. He asked me where I was going to start and I told him I would do the outside then come back and do the Interior.  He asked me if I brought a ladder because the home didn’t have a pulldown and that’s where he was hearing a chewing sound coming from. I told him I did indeed have a ladder and I would bring it when I was coming inside. The home was a two year old two story, xx home. I drew a diagram of the outside as I inspected it. After I finished I knocked and then went inside. I inspected the inside and then went into the attic to see I what he was hearing.

I climbed into the attic with my flashlight and could see a lot of mouse droppings but no termites. I climbed down and went to find the customer. He asked me if I found anything and I told him I had good and bad news.  What’s the good news he asked. I told him, you have mice in your attic not termites. He said that’s great, what’s the bad news. I told him” You don’t have any Insulation in your attic.”

He said “You have to be kidding me.”

“I’m being 100 % honest,” was my reply.

He climbed up the ladder and looked around with my Flashlight.  “Someone stole my insulation out of my attic!” he exclaimed very loudly as he came dome. “How am I supposed to pay to fix this?”, he said to himself.

I informed him that since there wasn’t a trace of insulation in the attic that it most likely was never done. He said “But they have inspectors to check that.”

I agreed with him and told him “Sadly, it must have been missed.” I suggested that he call the xx office in the subdivision (they were still building in the neighborhood) and tell them about it. He called and they told him all homes were insulated when they were built and that if his was missed then they would insulate it and set up a time for their inspector to come look at it. The customer told me that his electric bill was always really high and he couldn’t understand why but now he knows why,… thanks to some mice.

He was a happy man when I Left.

Randy Schulle

San Antonio, TX

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Protected: “Is this Bulwark?”

December 24th, 2009 Enter your password to view comments.

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