In a statement issued yesterday, Mazda is recalling over 50,000 Mazda 6 sedans because the 2009 and 2010 models are having….ready for this…..wait for it…..pest control problems. Apparently the Yellow Sac Spider has found its way into the fuel system of Mazda’s sport sedan, and can potentially wreak havoc by blocking air from filling the gas tank as gas is used. This can crack the tank and even cause fires. Although, to date, no fires have been reported. Mazda also confirmed that this issues seems to only be occurring in the 4-cylinder models, not the V6’s. (I didn’t just make up that last fact.)
Mazda currently sells six differing models of the Mazda 6. These six models are grouped in the following classes: Sport, Touring, Touring Plus and Grand Touring. As of yesterday, it’s only appropriate that Mazda add an additional class to the sport sedan group. We think it should be called the Mazda 6 Spider. Not Spyder. Spider. And the predominant color for this new car should be light yellow in color.
We’ve done a little bit of investigative work since yesterday and it appears to us that along with this issue affecting only 4-cylinder models, the affected cars also all have spider silk woven upholstery. This might explain the Yellow Sac Spider’s targeting of these particular cars. Are they just trying to feel at home? Or might they be protesting the exploitation of their only valuable commodity. Maybe they’re not getting a fair share of a honest day’s work?
Either way, this is an unprecedented opportunity for Mazda to make lemons (pun intended) into lemonade. What else can Mazda do to capitalize on this bizarre discovery? We also suggest that all models that come with navigation and DVD also come with free copies of Arachnophobia, Spider-Man 1-3 and Charlotte’s Web for the kids. If there was a way to get four more wheels on the car, that would be excellent, but we know that might be stretching it. At the very least drivers of the new Mazda 6 Spider should be allowed to freely drive in the carpool lane. Chances are there are 3 or 4 passengers somewhere in the car.
Now, if you don’t want those spiders in your car, or in your house either, call Bulwark Exterminating for your guaranteed spider control.