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12 Days of Christmas You DON’T Want To See Under Your Tree

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Copyright © 2011 Steve_Bitter. Visit the original article at http://pestcontroltulsaok.com/2010/12/12-days-of-christmas-you-dont-want-to-see-under-your-tree/.

Christmas is in 8 days.  All of the “12 Days of Christmas” lists started 4 days ago.  We’ve purposely waited a few days to give you the “12 Days of Christmas You DON’T Want To See Under Your Tree”.

#12 The worst ugly Christmas sweater from eBay you can possibly imagine.

Especially if it came with a Jack Black impersonator.

sweater 12 Days of Christmas You DON’T Want To See Under Your Tree

Ugly Christmas Sweater

#11 Gym membership from husband.

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Gym Membership Gift Certificate

#10 Justin Bieber mechandise.

Unless your name happens to be Annie Cushing.

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Justin Bieber Doll Set

#9 Sex For Dummies book from wife.

New and updated 3rd Edition, because getting the first 2 wasn’t enough in previous years.

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Sex For Dummies, 3rd Edition

#8 Gift card to AA from Santa with a 6-pack of non-alcoholic beer.

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Non-Alcholic Beer and AA Membership

#7 Court ordered Subpoena with 5 days to reply.

Especially if your lawyer is in the Bahamas until after New Years.
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#6 Fruitcake

fruitcake 12 Days of Christmas You DON’T Want To See Under Your Tree

Enough Said

#5 A recluse spider in your stocking.

Very common in areas around Tulsa, OK.  Maybe coal isn’t such a bad option!

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Brown Recluse Spider (Courtesy: lakeneosho.org)

#4 Unused tickets to the Neverland Ranch.

Includes shiny right-handed glove and “live” meet and greet with its original owner.

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Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch (Courtesy: the PASSION blog)

#3 An all expense paid tour of one of BP’s oil rigs.

They’ll even let you play with the fire hose.

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BP Oil Rig

#2 An imitation iPad that runs Windows 7.

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Fake iPad with Windows OS (Courtesy: coated.com)

#1 An ant farm.

I mean, come on!  How enraged would you be if you actually got an ant farm!?  Unless your name is Thomas Ballantyne, then it might look good next to your scorpion aquarium.

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Ant Farm

Have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from Bulwark Exterminating.  Your Loco Pest Control – Tulsa, OK.

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